December 20th 2018
How to handle walking in a winter wonderland alone~
Cuffing Season is a term for a period of time around the autumn and winter where people start to seek relationships instead of just casual flings. I believe this phenomenon happens because this time of year is often marked by cute couple things to do like going apple picking or taking dates to Christmas villages.
However, I also feel like this time of year puts unrealistic amounts of pressure on those of us who either are not in a relationship or are not looking for any level of commitment right now. In my case, I am not looking for a heavy commitment right now, but am open to starting to date. This time of year for me is a bit tough because I am caught between the feeling of wanting to be attached and not wanting to jump into things more quickly than it makes sense too.
You see, I would love to have someone to go see Christmas lights with or go to village shops with or just to cuddle to watch movies, but I also feel like that desire has caused me to put too much pressure on myself to be on a certain level with people than I am now.
I am a bit of a slow-burner, if that makes sense. Some people prefer relationships that are hot and fast and burn quickly, often leading them to fizzle out over time. For me, I like relationships that build slowly and increase in intimacy as they go along. I like taking my time to get to know someone before jumping into a full on commitment.
That is why I find cuffing season so troubling. I want to do all of the couple things without rushing the process of getting to know someone on an intimate level. This often leads to feelings of failure and disappointment that I am not living my best holiday life.
I feel like I must not be the only one who struggles with this conflicted feeling during this time of year. So with that in mind, I decided to put together a little list of how I manage to get through the holidays without a SO.
- I do everything I would do without a boyfriend, with my friends- Friends are a great thing to have during the holiday season because they are great company and love you for you. If you wanna go to a Christmas village and you don’t have anyone to go on a cute date with, take your friends! You can still make cute and amazing memories with them.
- Realize that the holidays are just like any other time of the year- Don’t make a haphazard decision to make you feel less lonely in December that you will end up regretting by January. Just because it is the holidays doesn’t mean you need to jump into anything fast to enjoy the short festive season before life goes back to normal. The holidays are just like any time of the year with a few unique activities, don’t treat it like it is anything more.
- Focus on self-love first- If you really find that you’re struggling with being single during the holidays (especially if it is your first holiday single in a while), just focus on your relationship with yourself. Be your own boo this holiday season. People come and go, but you are with yourself for your whole life. Enjoy the season no matter who is in your life.
- Don’t put life on pause waiting for someone- Don’t hold yourself back from doing things and enjoying the season just because you would rather do certain things with a SO. You have one life to live and it isn’t worth missing out on just because you’re single.
- There is no rule saying you need a SO for the holidays- We all sit and joke about cuffing season, but all jokes aside, there is nothing wrong with being single during the holidays. People get so wrapped up in trying to find someone that they pretty much forget the whole reason for this time of year. It is a time of year to celebrate, spend time with loved ones, and reflect. You have your whole life to find love but it doesn’t need to be for this season specifically.
This holiday season, I am happy to be taking the time for me. I am meeting new people, putting myself out there, and growing with each day. I hope you do the same whether you are single or in a relationship!