January 14th 2022
Healing myself so I can heal others~
I have frequented the belief that there is something really powerful about the start of a new year. I am not sure if it collective hope the fuels short term positive change or if it is actually something cosmic that transcends the physical realm, but something magical happens at the start of a new year…so long as you believe it as such. I believe there is magic in new years. The idea of opening a new book to the first page and beginning to write your story from the very beginning. Like a new season of your own personal show except you don’t have to wait a week before a new episode comes out.
For the last couple of years, I felt no magic at the strike of midnight and I feel like many people would agree with me there. 2019-2020 wasn’t a great start for me as I was in a toxic relationship that caused me to begin, what turned out to be an awful year, on an even worse note than I needed to. 2020-2021 was more disappointing in terms of its lack of luster and excitement. The world let out a collective apathetic sigh at midnight and the year went on to follow that “blah” tone for a whole 365 days. But when midnight struck leading into 2022, I felt a magical feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Now I am not sure if this post will age like milk by the end of the year, but 2 full weeks into the year and I am still hopeful. I think it is because I went into this year fully prepared to invest in myself. I am taking care of myself in small and large ways and forcing myself to do some shadow work I have been putting off. My therapy sessions flipped from being damage control to being future planning and preparation. My attention has shifted from existing to actually living my life and maximizing my time.
So, how am I planning to transform this year? Well, for starters, I really want to write more. On various platforms and mediums. I have really been feeling words coming back to me lately and I am trying to keep that energy going as much as possible. Writing has been a huge source of passion for me for years, and I want to give it the attention I used to years ago, even if it takes some time to get into the proper groove with things.
One way I am already transforming is through how I present myself. I may be 2 weeks into the year but I have really been trying to dress up more lately and make myself feel good. I got a blow dryer for Christmas which has become a piece of my self-care routine which I never truly expected. I have found that blow drying my hair has helped me feel more confident because it makes me feel put together more than just simply letting my hair air dry. Plus blow drying is an act of kindness to myself in the cold winter.
I think my most exciting transformative opportunity has come in the form of a new Instagram I am working on with a friend called Signs To Stay. I have been wanting to start a self-care and mental health page for a really long time to encourage me to educate myself more on mental health topics and things that deeply inspire me. The page only has one post currently but I am prepared to get further into it in coming months and hopefully build a community to support people through their own personal growth.
I hope to fill 2022 with magic for myself for as long as I can. If the world won’t heal, then the last I can do is heal myself.