September 18th 2019
As much as hard work pays off, it also pays off to know when to take a break~
I took a break this Monday and I honestly feel so much better for it. I didn’t originally plan to take a break, but things came up, my mental health wasn’t where I needed it to be that night and I took a break. I love this blog with all my heart and put as much energy as I can into it, however, I have learned the value of taking a break.
I used to take posting on schedule so seriously and I really enjoyed working on a schedule but, now that life has caught up to me and I feel the need to prioritize my mental health, I realize that a healthy break here and there can do a lot for me.
I have been dealing with a lot and only chose to acknowledge the weight of the things I have been dealing with relatively recently and, as a result, I have had to learn how to pull back a little bit. I am learning that I am one person and I really can’t do it all. I have one job that keeps me busy 40+ hours a week, a second job that keeps me busy for another 5-10 hours, a relatively new relationship, a bunch of new workout classes I’ve started, and also the growing pains involved with moving to a new state at the age of 24 and having no friends or familiarity with the area at all. That is a lot of change for a person to deal with while still expecting them to stay creatively stimulated.
So, as a result, I have been laying off myself on the blogging front and trying to focus on getting well so I can create great content that makes me happy again. Today at yoga, I unclenched my jaw for the first time in what feels like 3 weeks. I also spent a lot of time thinking about how I have been treating the people I love over the past 3 weeks and realized that I am not only not showing up in the ways I want to but also showing up in ways I hate. I have spent the past few weeks being paranoid, irrational, insecure, and generally manic and I realize I need to stop and really focus on my mental health.
So how am I giving myself a break, aside from skipping a blog post? Well, I am doing it in small ways whenever I can. I am taking weekends off my second job and staying off my email more at home. I am making time to call friends instead of working so much that I become overly isolated. I am crying…more than I would like to but clearly I need it…however, I plan to do that less (that is just a little note to my friends and boyfriend if you’re reading this). And I am trying (and mostly failing) to get more sleep.
So although I may not be doing the perfect job at giving myself a break, I am still trying which is something that you should really give yourself credit for if you are also trying to give yourself a break. Going from overworking yourself and pushing your mental health too far to trying to get into break mode is way harder than one would think. Be patient with yourself.
So, what does this break mean for my blogging? Not much, honestly. I will still be trying to post Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but I am also going to honor my mind and body and take breaks when I need to. I also want to take breaks because it will prevent me from putting out junky content, which is something I want to avoid doing.
So thank you all for your patience throughout this Self-Care September, especially my friends, family, and boyfriend who have watched me cry 8 times in the last 2 weeks. I really plan to do better and give myself breaks before it is too late from now on.