August 30th 2019
I’m learning that time is a fluid thing, nothing lasts forever, and structure isn’t real…
I can’t believe August is already over. It has been the shortest, yet most pivotal month I have had in a long time and I think the amount of growth I have experienced has really been unreal. The difference between who I was last month and who I am now is astronomical. However, with growth comes discomfort so on top of this being one of my most life-changing months this year, it has also been the most uncomfortable. Here are a few things I did this month:
- Completed my first month at a new job
- Been with my boyfriend for one month (exactly, as of today) and have been talking to him for nearly 2 months
- Found out I really love interior design and antiquing
- Visited my friends in NY for the first time and didn’t cry (externally, all the internal tears were there though)
- Made a couple of work friends who may be nice to see out of work, who knows?
Getting into a new job is intimidating, but what I have found to be more intimidating is the fact that my job is completely new to the company and, therefore, a clean slate for me to do with whatever I please. Although there were practices in place before I started, there was never really a set way of doing things so I have sort of been left to figure it out. It isn’t necessarily bad, but it does leave me feeling really unsure of my abilities quite often. But one thing I am excited about is that my workplace has trusted me to work with the copywriter in creating a company blog, which has been fun even if the subject matter isn’t as fun as it is on here.
I have been in a new relationship for a month now too and been talking to someone new in general for 2 months. That is also a huge change for me because it has been a while since I have really talked to someone new or dealt with all of the discomfort of a new relationship. However, he has done so much in terms of helping me explore new places all over and we plan to travel even more in upcoming months too, which I am excited about. I think it has been worth the discomfort so far and I am excited to see what this brings to my life.
I also went back to NY this month for a quick visit and to see the Jon Bellion concert. I had so much fun and I managed to see most of my friends in the short 2 days I was there which was awesome. It honestly felt like I never left which was both heartbreaking and comforting in a way. I am just so glad I got to spend time with everyone.
In terms of my goals, I didn’t really hit all of them, but I am beginning to realize that with 2 jobs, a new relationship, and general mental health stuff, I am going to need more time before I can confidently get to where I hope to be. And that isn’t a bad thing. Here are my goals for the upcoming month:
- Plan for a weekend trip (no rush to squeeze one in this month)
- Try to make social plans whenever the opportunity presents itself
- Work my second job at more structured hours—I need my life back
- Bring lunch to work sometimes, people tend to worry about me because I don’t eat lunch enough
- Take more time for myself—I haven’t watched YouTube and just laid around in a while
- Keep my head above water
- Attend all of my work out classes after Labor Day
I am hoping that, this month, I find the balance I have been searching for and can gain a bit of my sanity back. What are your plans for September?