Making Friends as an Adult…and Other Daunting Tasks

May 29th 2019

I have been living in my new home for less than one week and here is what I realized about meeting people as an adult in the 21st century.

Being an adult in the digital age is a unique situation. On one hand, we are constantly connected via the internet, making it easier to connect with people than ever before. However, on the other hand, with so much choice and so much constant stimulation, I find it incredibly difficult to find people who are entirely open to the idea of making new friends as an adult.

You see, making friends as an adult differs from making friends when you are school-aged for one main reason, propinquity. As we grow up, we become friends with people because we spend our day to day in the same environment doing the exact same thing as one another while sharing a common goal. However, when you hit adulthood, opportunities for proximity friendships decline due to the lack of scheduled consistency.

You could argue that work is similar to school, but you are not always guaranteed to meet people of a similar age bracket or on similar paths to yours, as you would in a school environment. Also, if you are in a situation such as my own, you may have just moved and don’t have a job yet which ups the difficultly a bit more.

So how does one go about making friends and meeting new people as an adult? Well, for starters, I’m just learning myself so I will probably return to this topic once I actually make friends, but here is what I am doing so far.

1. Bumble BFF- Currently this is my primary means of making friends because I am not working so I am trying to save money when possible. However, Bumble BFF is pretty much a dating app for making friends. I find it pretty cool because it connects you with people who are also looking to meet people so at least you know that you both have the same end goal in mind. Plus, it is free and simple to use.
2. Taking classes- I plan to take classes through this company called Skill Pop which offers unique classes and workshops for all kinds of stuff, so hopefully I can meet some like-minded people! If you’re into sports, you could always join a recreational league or take classes at your local gym to meet people too. I am hoping to join yoga classes within the next couple of months to meet some people as well!
3. Volunteer- I really love dogs and would love to help out at a local animal shelter if possible. Not only are dogs great company (arguably better than human company most of the time), but there is a chance to meet fellow dog lovers which sounds fun to me!
4. Expand your squad- This is sorta of a second step, but once you have one friend, it is easier to expand your squad from there. Your new friend could know people or you could just feel more confident to approach new people when you have a second person as a buffer. Things are a lot less intimidating when there is safety in numbers!
5. Just be yourself- No matter the situation, just put your true self out there right away. As an adult, you have the whole world available to you and you don’t need to be everybody’s buddy just because they’re there. Become friends with people who allow you to be your most true and authentic self. Life’s too short to continue making fake friends out of convenience. You have a right to be choosy and pick people who bring out the best in you!

Overall, I am incredibly intimidate by the idea of making new friends, but I am optimistic that, whatever happens, it is for the best! Also, if anyone on here needs a digital friend (or you live near Charlotte, NC) feel free to reach out on social media! My Instagram is @jessofearth!

Jess~