Finding Your Personal Power

May 3rd 2019

After a recent letdown, I am taking a step back and learning how to put more energy into myself for a change.

On a day to day, it is often easy to overlook how powerful you are as a person. You tend to be blind to just how powerful your energy, thoughts, and actions are in the grand scheme of your own life and the lives of those around you. This likely happens because you spend a lot of your energy on other things and people outside of yourself, and neglect using that power to benefit yourself.

Recently, I experienced a letdown that sort of left me feeling a bit lost and confused. After the initial disappointment wore off, I found that my biggest realization was that I had been putting so much energy and so much personal power into something, that I had been forgetting to leave any for myself.

When reflecting on this situation to a friend, I came to the sudden realization that, although the situation wasn’t hindering me as a person, it also contributed nothing to making me a better version of myself. To have put so much energy into something that did nothing to benefit my personal growth seems like a large waste of personal power.

But, I have also grown to realize that I am not entirely sure how to unlock that same power I put into other people, for myself. I have so many visions of the person I hope to be someday and my inability to concentrate my energy into being that person has really slowed the process of me unlocking my truest potential.

So what is keeping me from unlocking my personal power? Well, the biggest thing I can think of is mindset. I believe it was Buddha who said “what we think, we become” and I think that is the best way of explaining the disconnect I have from my personal power. I operate under the mindset that I don’t deserve much or that I will never be one of those people who just has things work out and, as a result, things don’t work out for me because I don’t put enough energy, or the right energy, into them.

But how did this mindset develop? Well, if anyone out there is operating under a similar mindset, my first piece of advice is to take a look into your past. For me, years of being put down by bullies and hurt by people I would give my power to has resulted in me feeling undeserving of my own power. I think that, deep down inside, I deny myself adequate energy and power because I feel like it won’t make a difference and that I have sort of just been trapped by circumstances.

So, as a result of that negative mindset, I deem other people more worthy of my energy and power than I do myself. Then, if those people leave or hurt me in any way, I feel the damage two-fold because not only did I put my faith into them, I also put immense amounts of my energy and power. And I feel as though I am not the only one who does this and it is way more common than I think.

How do you break this vicious cycle? Honestly, I am not entirely sure yet, but I am working on figuring it out and here is what I have thought about so far:

1. Investing energy into yourself is never a waste- When a person or situation lets you down, you can often be left feeling like you flushed a lot of energy down the drain for no reason. However, if you were to invest that same energy into yourself, it will never be wasted because even small improvements make a world of difference and even if, at times, you feel let down by yourself, that energy still exists within you to push forward.
2. Power comes from positive self-talk- All of your energy and power, no matter what it is being channeled into, comes from self-talk. If you speak negatively of yourself and amplify your shortcomings, the energy you present to yourself and others is weak and can even be destructive. You are essentially draining yourself of your power by being negative towards yourself. By improving self-talk, you improve the energy you put into all things and you increase your power, making your steps towards your goals more effective and productive.
3. It is not selfish to put most of your energy and power into yourself- I am a bit too selfless at times with my energy. I have let myself lose sleep, miss out on things important to me, and denied myself space for my needs in order to please other people. I often felt guilty when I put too much energy into myself because I was afraid it would come off as self-centered or disinterested. I noticed this most in my dating life. I am so quick to reply to texts and accommodate other people that I often put my feelings, thoughts, and plans to the side to be more accommodating to this potential new person in my life. This has not only caused me to neglect myself and stunt my growth, it has also caused me to put myself into situations with people that weren’t right for me because I spent so much energy trying to make them like me. By pulling back that energy and focusing on bettering myself, I will not only be growing on a personal level, but I will also be aligning myself with people who are right for me and don’t require all my time and power to make them want to stick around.

But I think the key to finding your personal power is as simple as realizing that it is just that, personal power. This is your power and you deserve to use it on yourself. We are so much stronger and more influential than we ever give ourselves credit for. We have the power to make or break our own futures, create our own luck, and manifest the things we most desire.

The first step is putting the power back into your own hands and the energy back into yourself. The people and situations that are right for you won’t require that energy anyway, because they will come naturally as you grow.

Don’t use your energy to force life to go a certain way. Use your energy and harness your power to help you become the best version of yourself and the life that is meant for you will follow.

Jess~