April 24th 2019
…because you’re not always in complete control.
The topic for this post came about during a rainy drive with my friend, Kristin. We were discussing my fears of upcoming events surrounding my move and other personal events. I talked a lot about how I often feared when things seemed to be going “too well” and how, as much as I always hoped for the best, I could not help but to expect the worst.
I know it is a terrible way to live life, jumping from one worst case scenario to the next but between my anxiety and poor past experiences, I find it incredibly difficult to believe that good things can happen to me without there being some sort of catch. Kristin’s mind works in a very similar way in that sense and we talked about how we often gravitated towards expecting the worst case scenario as a means of self-preservation.
But through a lot of talking, we both decided mutually that we should both be living under a new philosophy. We have decided to hope for the best, expect nothing, and prepare for everything. We took the word “worst” out of the equation entirely. So, to unpack the statement a bit more, we have decided to hope that every situation works in our favor, go in with no expectations, and prepare for any outcome.
There are times in life where the control isn’t fully in your own hands and that is why going in with expectations is useless and preparing for every possible outcome is necessary. For example, if you apply for a job, you can hope that you get it, don’t place any bets or expectations on whether or not you will, and be prepared for a yes, no, or any possible answer in between.
By removing expectations, there is less room for disappointment and more room for new discovery. Not every situation is black or white, yes or no, or win or lose. Sometimes there are gray areas that we can’t predict or expect so by removing expectations, we are becoming more open to whatever opportunities will be presented to us.
I also think that limiting expectations really helps avoid extreme feelings of disappointment when things don’t go completely to plan. Sure, you will still be disappointed, but expecting less helps decrease attachment to outcomes and increases attachment to action and aligning your actions to what is considered to be the “best” outcome.
Lastly, preparing for everything is huge because sometimes success, failure, and all of the things in between can be super intimidating, so being prepared is a key component to moving forward with grace and a positive outlook. We can’t always have our way, so being prepared for whatever the universe puts in front of us is a super important part of personal growth.
So, without going into details about my current situation, I am going to tell you how I am approaching this new mantra of sorts. First, I am going in with the hope that things will turn out for the best and I will be happy in the long run. I am reminding myself I am deserving of happiness, but I do not have strong expectations about the outcome, only hopes. In the end, I am prepared for anything and if things go poorly, I may need some time to heal, but I know that my life won’t be over no matter what and that things can still go okay in the future.
As I enter a new chapter of my life that is so far removed from any chapter before this, I look at new scenarios with new eyes and the hope that whatever happens, the universe has my back and wants what is best for me.