Self-Care Corner: The Happiness Guide

July 17th 2018

Learning that you should not keep the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket~

Now, more than ever, I feel people base their personal happiness on external factors. The validation they get from social media, the amount of texts they get from friends on a given day, the presence of a significant other in their life, or even a job they enjoy are all things people use as grounds of measuring their level of perceived happiness.

However, when did we decide that our happiness is something we simply put in the hands of others? Why do we put so much pressure on people and things outside ourselves to keep us happy? The truth is, this is a dangerous gamble. You cannot always rely on others to maintain your personal happiness. The key to finding happiness is being able to create it yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be super happy as a result of your friends or your dog or your job or your significant other. This just means that, with all of those other things stripped away, you can still find happiness in yourself!

How often do you feel happy when you are just sitting in your own company. If, one day, your friends all left, your social media accounts shut down, and you were left with just yourself; would you be happy? If the answer is no, then you have a lot of work to do. But don’t worry, most people do too!

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So how does one break the habit of relying on outside forces to make them happy? Well, it isn’t something just happens overnight. First, you have to be aware of two things:

1. At the end of the day, you only have yourself. Strip away all of your belongings and the people in your life and realize you are truly the only person who has your back 24/7.
2. Internal happiness doesn’t mean you are happy 24/7 or that you aren’t allowed to be made happy by outside forces. It means that you know how to help yourself out of a funk well enough that you don’t rely on other people to do it for you, but you can appreciate the help when it is given.

So how do you reach a state of internal happiness? There isn’t one set way! Here are just a few ways I am working on finding my own internal happiness:

• I am praising myself for my accomplishments. I am giving myself credit when I have a kick ass day at work or a did well in a work out. I am acknowledging my accomplishments and allowing myself to feel proud for even small wins.
• I am listening to myself. If I am tired and don’t want to go out, then I don’t go out. If I want to hang out with someone, I reach out to them instead of waiting for them to reach out to me (swallowing your pride and reaching out is a great way to get out of the habit of looking for happiness outside of yourself)
• I am treating myself with respect. Dress yourself up, take yourself out, treat your body well, smile often. Treat yourself like a friend and soon you will find that you are happier than before.
• I am finding things I like to do alone. I love to write in my bed as a way of spending quality time with myself. I enjoy the company of myself when I write and I don’t need anyone else to keep me happy in order for me to write.

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Overall, creating your own happiness is a never-ending process, but a worthwhile one. So next time you find yourself getting down about forces outside of yourself, remember to keep your chin up and be there for yourself.

How do you create your own happiness?

Jess~