May 18th 2018
Baby, I’m sorry…I’m not sorry~
I was going to apologize for the fact that this post is late, but that would go against my message.
I feel like I’ve seen many people, including myself, go through life apologizing for everything. Not simply for things they can control or wrongs they have committed but for things that they have no control over or hand in. It has gotten to the point where many of us merely apologize for existing.
You may not think much of saying a simple sorry to preserve someones feelings, but have you ever taken a moment to notice what that unnecessary apology is doing to you? By apologizing for things you can’t control, you are taking on the emotional burden of a problem that isn’t yours. You are surrendering your right to coexist peacefully with life’s many burdens, and you are placing yourself in a position to take the weight of the world onto your shoulders.
It sounds quite dramatic when it is put that way, so to put it simply, apologizing for everything not only puts yourself at the root of every problem or perceived problem someone has but it also invalidates genuine apologies. Don’t say you’re sorry for being late if someone rear-ended you on the parkway or apologize for canceling plans last minute because a relative is sick. Those mishaps are not your fault and you shouldn’t put yourself in the guilty position.
What is even worse is when people apologize for things that aren’t even wrong. Returning to my previous example of being late or canceling due to unforeseen circumstances, it is okay to feel a bit of guilt because you believe to have burdened someone, but what isn’t okay is apologizing for things that have no needed guilt attached.
Don’t apologize for telling a story, or getting wrapped up in talking about your passion, or for simply existing! The moment you start to convince yourself that even your most simple actions are a burden is the moment you lose your confidence and you begin to sink. To live unapologetically (within reason) is life changing and can totally change our mindset.
Change your “I’m sorry I’m late” to “I hope you didn’t have to wait for me too long, traffic is crazy.” That way, the person you are seeing knows you are thinking of them but you are not apologizing for what you can’t control. Instead of saying “I’m sorry for talking too much” try something like “If I am talking too much feel free to let me know.” Again, you are not apologizing for talking about whatever you’re passionate about, but instead opening the floor to the other person to remain comfortable in a situation.
By finding simple ways to swap out the “sorrys” for something more productive, you will start seeing shifts in situations you didn’t could happen. You will feel less guilty and the other party will feel less wronged! You won’t undermine yourself and others will still consider you a considerate and empathetic person! You don’t need to end every sentence with “I’m sorry” to show you have empathy; your respect for yourself and your ability to live unapologetically without being a dick will say it loud and clear.
I dare you to take some time over the next week to see how many times you can change your “sorrys” into something more productive!