February 28th 2018
“Nobody likes you when you’re 23”
I turned 23 a couple of days ago (click here to check out my 23 things for 23 years post) and it really got me to think about life right now, where I am, and where I am going. I decided to throw the Blink-182 quote at the start of this post because that is just about what everyone has said to me when I mention turning 23….I have to admit it is better than when everyone screamed the lyrics of 22 by Taylor Swift at me last year.
So, 23 and life right now. I am 23 years old and in limbo. I have a lot of dreams and plans but I am sort of stuck in the crossroads of expectations of myself created by society and expectations of myself that I have created. I feel as though there is a bit of a disconnect and neither mine nor society’s expectations are truly the best fit. I wrote a post about this earlier this month called “A Chat About An Existential Crisis” where I discussed my feelings a bit more.
If it were up to me, I would continue working multiple part time jobs and focusing on yoga and blogging in the hopes of turning those into my primary careers. Society however (i.e. my parents and the general expectations of most people when thinking of a college graduate) would prefer I get a full time career, 9-5, five days a week with a salary and benefits and a 401k. Although I am not against the prospect of a full time job, I find that I am very particular about what I like doing and the setting in which I like doing it.
After a poor work experience last year, I have been left sort of traumatized against the idea of settling into a new working environment. I know that things must change in order for me to grow, but I have developed such a mental block as a result of other people’s actions. On top of that, I find that I work better when left to my own devices and without having to put focus on a corporate culture.
I have really grown a love for the arts and non-profit organizations over the past few years and would love to continue my work there if I had to choose any place to spend my full time career. I find that that is where my full time interests lie if I am not able to turn this blog into something sustainable.
In terms of where I am going from here, I am not quite sure. All I know is that I want to continue keeping up with my blog 4 days a week, eventually paying for my account so I can own my domain, and take active steps to improve my content while also balancing work and life.
I have also been toying with the idea of going back to school to get a degree in English or Journalism. My Nanny always told me that ever since I was a little girl, she thought I would be an author one day. I’ve come to realize that there truly is no time but the present and that I need to start thinking about this kind of stuff now.
Lastly, as I watch the years pass me by, I realize it is time to put on my big girl pants and put myself out there. I am a bit shy and afraid of rejection, but I am coming to terms with the fact that if I do what I have always done, I will get what I have always gotten.
I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get there, so 23 will mark the year that I build up the courage, stop making lame excuses and get moving on reaching my personal goals. I am meant for more than what I am doing right now for and I plan to prove that to the world and myself one day.
My name is Jessica. I live on Long Island in New York. I’m 23 years old, and I’m just getting started~ (Bonus points if you know what this is a reference from)
Jess~
JessofEarth 
You sound like me! I had my existential crisis slightly later – but I have a real challenge with employment – especially have taken a year off, and really not liked the industry I was in by the end (recruitment). It’s great that you’re so self-aware and know a lot about what you do and don’t want. Re: going back to school, have you looked at options that might be less expensive/time-consuming? I’m just about to start a free screenwriting course on FutureLearn, for example. Also, have you read the blog/books of Chris Guillebeau? He talks about ‘the side hustle’ a lot (he also has a podcast with that in the name) – you might like The $100 Startup & Born For This in particular. Keep on rockin’ 🙌🏽👊🏽
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Thank you! And I’ll totally look into Chris Guillebeau especially because I listen to a podcast at work and would love to find other podcasts to explore! And as of now, I’m in no rush to go back to school but I may look into some online writing courses to up my game a little bit even just for the benefit of my blog. And let me know how the free screenwriting course is! I used to do screenwriting in high school for an elective course and thought it was really fun! 🙂
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No problem! Yeah I love a podcast – writewithimpact.com is my favourite writing one. If you’re into crime, Serial is addictive. I’ll keep you posted 🙂 I’m exploring screenwriting and short stories right now.
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Ooooohhh I love crime so I will check that out! I’ve been binging true crime YouTube videos lately! 🙂
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OMG you need to check out Serial (Season 1) then – I devoured it in 2 days! I also recently watched ‘The Jinx’ (via Dailymotion – about Robert Durst), and ‘American Vandal’ on Netflix (fiction/spoof, but I was hooked)
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I plan to! And I’ve been wanting to watch American Vandal for a while now because I know they are currently filming season 2! Never heard of The Jinx though so I’ll have to check that out. I personally live for the Buzzfeed: Unsolved series
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Yeah I heard that too! There’s only 8 episodes. Cool, I’ll add that to my list 🙂
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It was like I was reading my own life story. I‘m 23 turning 24 in April and I‘m having these thoughts as well. I‘m in this weird phase where nothing seems right for me and I’m constantly questioning everything. I am actually looking into a writinng course online too. It’s quite expensive but I saved some money and I think I should do something I am passionate about.
Your post kind of encouraged me to do something for myself and not to let myself be put under a lot pressure to achieve some weird goal someone else set for me.
Thank You.
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I’m glad my post helped you! And I’m also glad that someone is in the same place I am and can relate. I feel like, growing up, we are spoonfed the goals we should want for ourselves and once we grow up and look passed those goals, we realize there are millions of things we could achieve that nobody ever told us about. So I sort of met those two things in the middle and found a way to use the goals that I was told to have in order to help me reach the goals I realized I actually want!
Good luck with the writing course if you end up doing it. It should be a great experience:) (and if it’s not then there are still millions of other things to explore so don’t give up!)
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