It seems like free time is always eluding me…or maybe I’m eluding it…
If you’ve ever listened to “Seasons of Love” from the Broadway show Rent, you would know that a year is made up of 525,600 minutes. In hours, that is about 8,760 hours. 8,760 hours in a year and I still feel like I am grasping as free time with very little luck.
A year is 365 days and you would think that with all of that time I could find a little to get some important tasks done, but I find myself constantly struggling to find hours in my day. I can’t completely blame life for this though because I spend a lot of my time creating stuff for myself to do and that stuff gets in the way of other stuff and my whole life sort of just blows up into a sea of highlighted calendar boxes and no room for free time.
I’m not sure if this is a situation in anyone else’s life, but I always find that I have a million and one things that need to get done when I am busy beyond belief, then when I have nothing to do, I don’t know what to do with myself. Like, there are just some days where I wake up and have absolutely nothing planned and I sink deeper in the softness of my bed and do nothing except write the occasional blog post, which I always seem to find the time to do.
Which brings me to my next theory about free time and it’s that I am destroying my free time with my own unwillingness. I think this theory is half true because sometimes I legitimately can’t make time to do certain things, even blog. But the times that I can find time to blog, I could be using to take pictures for my blog or read my books, but I don’t feel like I have the time for those things. Why? Because I feel like the thought of stopping is a larger roadblock for me than actually completing my intended task is.
Whenever I think about taking blog photos, I always think, “ugh I am going to have to drive and then I am going to have to find somewhere to take photos, alone, and then I am going to have to come all the way home and upload them, alone, and I don’t even have someone to take full body shots for me”. I think it is the alone part that keeps me from doing a lot of things. I don’t go out to take pictures because I don’t want to do it alone. I don’t go out and buy books I need because I don’t want to go to the store alone without company. It is not that I can’t go alone, I do stuff alone all of the time, I just get lazy without the motivation of having a companion.
When it comes to reading books, I just think that’s laziness or lack of mood. I need to be in a certain frame of mind to want to read and as much as I love reading, that window of mood is really small and often at inconvenient times. Plus, finding something I want to read is really hard because I am quite picky. So, reading is a 60% “in the reading mood at times where I don’t have free time” and 40% pure lazy.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, I elude free time just as much as it eludes me. We are like two friends playing phone tag, but neither of us are willing to leave a message. I think what I need to do to fix this problem is metaphorically “leave a message”. I need to take some time to sit down and plan out my next date with free time and what I am going to do on that date and how I am going to make that work with my life right now. Currently, I should have more free time than ever since I only have one job.
If anyone has good tips for working with free time, leave them in the comments because I would love some ideas.