I Don’t Enjoy Coffee, But I Know a Good Cup

June 7th 2016


Alright, so I had been thinking about making a post about my sexuality for a long time because I feel like sexuality is not very often discussed when you identify as heterosexual. Heterosexuals seem to have a very “it is what it is” outlook on how they view their own sexuality and they often fail to explore the layers of themselves in order to not challenge their self-assigned label. I, on the other hand, have spent a lot of time truly trying to pin down what exactly I am in terms of a sexual being and have reassigned myself an individual label that I am pretty sure is not an actual term, but for myself it is one:

I am a heterosexual, bi-appreciative (or pan-appreciative) individual.

Throughout the entirety of my 21 years on Earth, I have only ever been sexually and romantically attracted to males. If I am going to be blunt, female sex organs sort of just gross me out. Like, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the female form and I am in no way disgusted by my own body or anyone else’s…I just have no desire to have anything to do with other females’ genitalia.

However, I can look at a girl and admit when she’s hot or when she has desirable features. The analogy I came up with to describe my sexual opinion of the female gender is this:

I have never, in my life, enjoyed the taste of coffee. I know people enjoy it and I have no hate towards them or towards coffee. Coffee just isn’t my cup of tea (sorry I’ll stop with the puns). However, whenever I am out at one of those fancy coffee shoppes and one of my friends get a fancy, pretty coffee beverage, I can still appreciate it. Although I would never drink the coffee myself, I can tell when someone has a good cup of coffee.

That is essentially how I feel about women. I can sit in awe about how beautiful a woman is and rave about her personality and how I feel as though she is void of all flaws; however, I have no interest in pursuing anything sexual or romantic with her.

I think heterosexual people often find it taboo or intimidating to appreciate the same sex. I feel like for the past couple years, I myself have had trouble expressing how I feel about other women without getting nervous about how my sexuality may be perceived. But, as I have begun to surround myself with new people of varying sexual orientations, as well as opening myself up to a lot of new people, I have become way more secure in my own personal sexuality and realized that it is completely okay to like men, but acknowledge when a woman is hot.

I feel like the world would be an all around more accepting place if we all took a step back and realized that sexual orientation shouldn’t be the foundation of our culture, and we spend more time making the world a more just and equal place for everyone to live in.

You are not just one thing,


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Jess, 25, yogi, believer in things, book worm, shy, aspiring human of Earth. I like to spend my time on a yoga mat, typing away with my thoughts, or taking pictures of anything and everything. Stop on by for everything from self-care to book reviews to fashion posts and more!

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