February 25th 2022
Another year older and another birthday post in the books.
Hi again! I may not be back to a full capacity on here but one thing I want to keep going is my annual birthday post where I share my little life lessons of the past year. Without further introduction, here is what 27 years of life has taught me:
- Sometimes a well-calculated risk is better than being stagnant- In the past year, I changed jobs and moved into an industry I knew absolutely nothing about and it has been one of the best decisions I have made in years. I pulled myself out of a toxic work environment and thrust myself into the unknown and I have grown so much from it!
- Even actions with the best intentions can become toxic if they are associated with guilt- Toxic positivity, toxic activism, etc. Are great in theory but can be messy in practice. While being positive and supporting credible causes is wonderful and I encourage everyone to invest their energy into both, it is toxic to make those around you feel guilty for not having the capacity for those sorts of things. You are not a worse person for not wanting to put forth fake emotions and fake activism to appease other’s expectations.
- You are allowed to grow at your own pace- Everyone has a different idea of what the proper timeline for growth is, but you are not responsible for other people’s expectations, only your own. So even if you’re not healing, improving, or growing on someone else’s timeline, the only person you’re doing the work for is you.
- You can’t control what life throws at you, only how you react to it- Life is going to throw curveballs your way. It is inevitable, however, how you respond to those curveballs really determines how the rest of the situation is going to go. Don’t ruin your own day by making a mountain out of a molehill or prolonging your own suffering.
- Establishing boundaries is so important- People aren’t born knowing your unique set of boundaries and you’re not born knowing the boundaries of others. Setting clear expectations is so important for yourself and others in learning how best to coexist.
- Success is not blind ambition, its also knowing your limits and admitting where you can learn- My current job has taught me so much and a large part of my growth in my new position is admitting I don’t know it all. Instead of saying “I can do that”, I have learned that it is better to say “I am not sure how to do that as I have never learned that before, but I am willing to look into it.”
- It is okay to romanticize your life to a healthy degree- I started romanticizing my life with the help of Tik Tok within the past year. I post little video montages of fun days in my life to look back on and it has honestly made me feel so much better about my life and how I am choosing to spend my time.
- Sometimes time and space can repair what conversations and arguments could not- I reconnected with a friend after a few years of separation during the summer of 2021 and I have learned that the years we took apart did so much for our personal growth and our ability to coexist in ways we struggled to before.
- If you mix hot chocolate mix and coffee, it makes coffee tolerable- I said this list was things I learned, they don’t all have to be deep. Haha
- There needs to be a healthy balance between “Yes” and “No”- I would almost hedge bets that in previous lists on here that I had written both “say yes more” and “say no more” at some point. But it has taken me until this year to realized that I don’t need to do either more just at the right time. There is a time and place for both and it’s about learning the balance.
- Even when you feel insignificant, you might learn that you’re someone else’s reason for being here- It’s easy to feel that the good you do goes unnoticed but just know that the actions you do today might be the reason someone else chose to stay until tomorrow.
- Let people fail on their own- If a friend asks for advice and they refuse to take it or you warn someone of something and they choose to ignore or argue against it, you cannot hold yourself responsible for that. Sometimes people need to go through their own process to learn lessons that you can’t learn for them.
- Conflict sucks but is necessary- I hate conflict. It makes me feel physically awful. However, sometimes periods of conflict help ensure future peace.
- You are not responsible for how others perceive you and your intentions- This is my biggest hurdle in therapy right now. I am very cautious about being the least polarizing person in the world and that is impossible. People will always have their own perceptions of what you and your actions and intentions but you are not responsible for the picture they paint if you in their mind, only of the person you try to be.
- The older you get, the less necessary is becomes to be in constant contact- I have friends that I talk to every day and friends I text every few months. It doesn’t mean I love anyone more than anyone else, it’s just growing up and having our own independent lives.
- Don’t feel guilty for growing faster than those around you- I worked to get to where I am and I can’t feel guilty if someone isn’t keeping up with my growth. My only responsibility to growing to my own standards. Similarly to growing st my own pace, I have also chosen to not slow myself down for other people’s comfort.
- Your feelings are allowed to change from day to day- I have been crying a lot lately but I have also been laughing a lot. Neither feeling discredits the other. Emotions and feelings are fluid and fluctuate.
- Apologizing for hurting someone doesn’t require you to admit that you’re wrong- Hurting someone you love is never desirable but sometimes it is necessary to best serve yourself or protect them. You can apologize for the fact that someone was hurt by your actions or for the things you could have done better without discrediting your reasons for doing things.
- A good relationship with your family should never be undervalued- I feel so fortunate to have a family I love spending time with because I know so many people who can barely tolerate an hour in the same room as their family. I am very grateful for my family.
- Taking outfits out the night before is way better than scrambling in the morning– This isn’t new information, but I need to keep reminding myself.
- We are all just people- Your mom is just a person, your boss is just a person, Beyonce is just a person, we are all just people trying to figure out life and that is completely cool and okay! Don’t put people on a pedestal.
- Making a playlist of songs that are exclusively good for my mental health has done wonders- I know it probably sounds silly but I made a 5 hour long playlist of all mental health focused songs and it is perfect for helping me relax and also feel heard.
- Life is full of compromise- Living in a house with 3 other people has really helped me understand the phrase “different strokes for different folks” and honestly compromise has become a huge part of my life.
- A good night’s sleep is appropriately rated- Seriously get some sleep, it’s important for your physical and mental health.
- Making a list of lessons for every year of your life is hard when you’re getting older and the number keeps increasing- Like seriously. Why is aging so hard?
- You don’t have to do something all the time for it to be a part of what makes you you- I still consider myself a blogger no matter how long I take a break from writing, I still consider myself a yogi during long yoga haituses. You are allowed to don’t have to do an activity every day to still identify with it.
- Every year gives you a chance to do better- I may not be where I want to be right now but I will be there someday and every year is a part of the process.
Here’s to another trip around the sun~