Self-Care Corner: The Value of Self Confidence

April 13th 2018

It doesn’t matter how others see you, it matters how you see you.

Self-confidence is something that I have battled with a lot in my young adult life. I am the kind of person who is in awe of people who are self-assured and heavily confident in their abilities…even people who I have deemed to be a little TOO confident to the point where it can be rather unappealing. I find confidence to be this mythical thing; sort of like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster or Paris Hilton’s music career. I feel like confidence is something I hear a lot about and only very rarely see in myself.

I have found that I am someone who is easily intimidated even about the dumbest stuff. I get very competitive and possessive with the things I love because my attachment to those things are what make me feel the most confident and whenever someone infringes on the things I hold dear, even in a respectful way full of admiration, I sort of shut down.

However, I decided to make this post about the value of self confidence as a way for me to help myself and others in my position. So what is it about self-confidence that gives it so much value? Well I don’t think self confidence itself is what holds the value, but really the effects of self-confidence that really hold the most stock.

When I am feeling insecure, I tend to be less warm and bubbly, and more cold and distant. When I am feeling trapped within myself and not feeling my greatest, I can project that feeling onto how others treat me. I can take an unanswered text and turn it into “this person hates me because of that one thing I said 3 years ago and they’ve realized I’m a terrible person, the end.” I can turn the physical insecurities I have about myself as an excuse to not engage with new people out of fear of what they would think of me.

However, I have grown to realize that if I view my life through a lens of self-assurance and self-confidence, things get a whole lot easier. I get more opportunities, I make more friends, I have better relationships with my friends and loved ones, etc. Confidence is really the glue that holds everything together.

But how do you get yourself to a place of self-confidence? Well the first thing you must realize is self-confidence comes from within and it is not something that can be obtained by anyone outside of yourself. Self-confidence is the confidence you feel without any reassurance from outside sources.

With that being said, the path to self-confidence starts with self study. Take time to evaluate yourself. Ask yourself why you are feeling insecure and ask yourself if those reasons make sense. We tend to make up reasons to hate ourselves in our own heads and we live our lives viewing ourselves as these disgusting creatures we made up.

After you figure out what the root of your insecurities are, debunk them. If you feel you are ugly, sit down and point out everything you love about yourself and what you feel everyone should love about you. It could be as simple as “I really like my eyebrows” or something like that. That the time to compliment yourself.

Next, take time for self-care. Do a face mask, buy a new outfit, get your nails done, go to the gym, cook your favorite meal, etc. Do things that make you feel your best and then let that feeling shine outward. When you look good and feel good, the world sees a different.

And that brings me to the point of this post. The value of self-confidence. When you are confident the world takes notice. They view you as someone who has their shit together. (even if you don’t, creating the illusion gets you one step closer to actually having your shit together) Everyone enjoys hanging out with someone who is confident and lively without being pretentious and demanding. Be the kind of person you want to hang out with!

If you embrace yourself with self-confidence, you will begin to see the world change. New opportunities will pop up, new people will gravitate towards you and your overall energy will be a higher frequency and more in tune to the universe and its gifts.

Remember, it is how you see yourself that makes the largest difference~

Jess~