April 21st 2017
I’m on a yo-yo diet of body positivity.
Having a positive self image is incredibly hard to do. I feel like for much of my life, I have had issues with the way I look in some respect or another and have put a lot of stock into my physical appearance. Mostly my body.
When I think of it from a detached perspective I realize that a body is just a vessel for the soul and that you are not defined by your body, but then I look in the mirror and become incredibly self critical. I think I have always been a relatively critical person when it comes to myself as a whole.
I want to blame the media for this because the “ideal body type” has always been pushed on me as it has been with many other little girls for decades now, but I don’t think it was the media that made me feel this way. I genuinely believe this is just myself. The things I aspire to be are not aspirational to me because people said they should be. They were just things that I looked at and thought to myself “I want to be like that”. Society wasn’t telling me it was beautiful, I was telling myself that that was what would make me beautiful and I am the largest source of my own insecurity.
I have no reason to be insecure. I work out daily and eat cleanly most of the time and I take care of myself to the best of my ability. My body is unique and my own and I should be thanking it for all the good it has done me but instead of have been shaming it for not being “enough”.
This body issue has led me to the conclusion that I need to work on myself, not physically, but mentally. I need to take some time to appreciate myself and dress out of my comfort zone and take a good look at what makes my body good so that I can appreciate it the way it deserves.
I hope to one day commit to body positivity.