Conquering My Quarter Life Crisis

September 1st 2017

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How I am trying to not become one of those girls who copes with getting older by getting bangs…

I feel like quarter life crises are becoming more and more prevalent in the lives of millennials. I think it’s because my generation (I’m 22, born in the year 1995 for anyone wondering) was the first to be brought up in the introduction to the social media age. We are the first generation young adults who are and have been exposed to life with and without social media during our adolescence.

In my parent’s 20’s they worked and they were completely blind to anyone’s life who they didn’t talk to regularly. Now, fast forward to my generation, I see every single thing that people post on social media. The big cushy jobs, the long term relationships, their killer bodies, fancy cars, money, trips etc. I’m exposed to all of that and that is enough to send anyone into a quarter life crisis.

With social media comes new pressure to perform. Constant reenforcement of the idea that people your age or younger are doing more than you, better than you. It makes you feel lame and old.

So how have I been working towards overcoming my super unfortunate, extremely stressful quarter life crisis? Well first, I remind myself how young I am. I am 22 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I have so much more time to succeed, figure life out, accomplish new things, etc. There is no need to be having this crisis. I tell myself that over and over and over again until I feel it in my bones.

The second thing I’ve done is I have thought about social media. I know you would probably expect me to say to stop, but no. I’m telling you to look at it. I’m telling you to pick a person you know, look at their social media, and ask yourself, “Is their life really like this?” Because most time the answer is no and most times they are probably looking at your social media feeling the same stress as you are feeling looking at their’s.

Third, don’t do anything drastic. I almost got bangs. I know I joked about the girls who get quarter life crisis bangs…but I was almost one of them! Now, I am in no way knocking bangs, I am knocking the haphazard “trying to reinvent myself” decision to get bangs. I was so stressed and in need of change that I almost jumped headfirst (literally) into bangs. Don’t do that. Don’t follow my example. I am trash.

And lastly, realize it’ll pass. You won’t be in a quarter life crisis forever. Put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties and get over it!

So overall, don’t freak out, don’t judge social media by it’s cover, don’t get bangs, wear pants, grow up!

Jess~

**An extra disclaimer because it appears that one wasn’t enough. I do not hate bangs, nor am I knocking bangs. Bangs are just the example I use for the entire idea of haphazardly jumping into a half baked decision to change your appearance as a means of coping with growing older and feelings of dead-endedness. Bangs aren’t bad and there is nothing wrong with bangs. Double disclaimer that this isn’t intended to be passive aggressive, I just really don’t want hurt feelings when I explicitly said I am not knocking bangs. Thank you.**

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jessofearth

Jess, 25, yogi, believer in things, book worm, shy, aspiring human of Earth. I like to spend my time on a yoga mat, typing away with my thoughts, or taking pictures of anything and everything. Stop on by for everything from self-care to book reviews to fashion posts and more!

14 thoughts on “Conquering My Quarter Life Crisis”

    1. I wrote in the post that I have nothing against bangs and I’m not knocking them. I have everything against the choice to get bangs because you’re stressed about getting older and feel like changing your appearance will help so you make a half baked decision you could end up regretting. More of a metaphor about not getting drastic and changing because you feel you have to. Bangs are a cute style if you do them because you get them because genuinely enjoy them. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I’m not a bangs hater!

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      1. It’s all good. Doing it just to look younger is prolly not right. Btw, from my perspective, 22 is VERY young. I know you might think u r old but early 20s is jst the start of youth. So dont stress about age too much; it’s just exta stress that you dont need to have at this time of life. Stress abt it when u r 60 or sth. Until then just think of yourself as young everyday. Youth is a spirit, not a phase.

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      2. Thank you! I appreciate that. I think the feeling old came from graduating and watching all of my friends go back to school and me not. I’m working at remembering that I’m young and have a whole life ahead of me~

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  2. Great post! I remember being in your shoes and having the same issues. My advice, wait to have the crisis at 25. Ha JK And you are right about social media playing a huge role in our generation, we thrive on embellishing our own life so people will literally “like” us. But the best way to have a healthy relationship with social media is to never compare yourself to anything you see, because like you said…their life is most likely not what it seems. Live your life within your own terms and you will be happy. But this is the time to screw up and learn and move on to the next thing you’ll screw up. Have fun! I’m enjoying my last year of my twenties, I’m definitely going to miss those years once I turn thirty!

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    1. Lol thank you for both of your comments. Bangs suit tons of people, but never suited me. That’s why whenever I panic and think about reinventing myself I’m like “YES BANGS THAT’S IT” which I know 1. won’t solve my problems and 2. Will be a reckless decision I would make in a moment of weakness that would result in months of anger, regret, and forehead breakouts.

      And in regards to your first comment, exactly, don’t compare yourself and don’t feel like you have to make up a fake side of yourself to show to social media just to make yourself feel accomplished. Your 20’s (and 30’s) are about making mistakes, growing, and doing everything at your own pace. Just sucks in those moments when you don’t feel like you’re doing it all fast enough by your own standards.

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  4. Like in yoga, just remember to breathe, try not to get too attached to ideas and so on because trust me, we tend to be hard on ourselves so this may lead to unnecessary pain (been there done that, still working on it) . You are where you need to be right now. 🙂

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  6. Jess! Your words resonate in more ways then you can imagine. I’m a 25 year old young woman, in the heat of my QLC, trying to figure out what the heck life is expecting from me, and which way is up. It’s a huge comfort to know someone else is in the same boat! I guess all we can do is clink our glasses and shout ‘Bon voyage!’. 🙂

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